The Zetsu Fangirl
by killua rox 123
Summary: Zetsu is antisocial and nobody loves him... OR SO HE THOUGHT!
1. Chapter 1

The Fangirl

By; Alicia (aka Zetsu)

Zetsu was anti-social. He always liked to be alone. He has no partner in the Akatsuki. Well, the leader thought it would be for the best since he worried he/she would be eaten by Zetsu and his cannibalistic ways. Well Zetsu did have Tobi. An annoying subordinate that would constantly follow him asking "Can I be in the Akatsuki now Zetsu-san?" Zetsu wanted to just attack him and eat him but the leader told him if he were to follow but only one rule it would be to not eat the Akatsuki or any subordinate that lie there. Well there was a good side to being alone. He never had to worry about fangirls. If you couldn't guess, the Venus flytrap surrounding his head was kind of a turnoff to girls. He liked not having fangirls. Itachi had it bad. He couldn't walk outside the 'secret' lair without at least 20 fangirls attacking. Usually it was Caitlyn. She glomped him every opportunity that she had. Zetsu had no fangirls, OR SO HE THOUGHT. Well there were those random occasions where he feels that someone is watching him. The person also gave off one of those overbearing creepy stalker vibes. When he tried to tell Sasori and Deidara, they said he was either 1) jealous or 2) imagining things.

One day he was in the park looming on his about-to-be dinner and he heard a squeal. The soon-to-be-dinner became runaway-dinner. He looked behind him to find Zetsu ready to pounce. The runaway took off.

"Dang it!" He said irritated. Another squeal came piercing though the wind. "Who is it?" Zetsu asked to nobody. No one was around. At that very second a girl of about thirteen with long brown hair, hazel eyes, and a very happy grin attacked and glomped him. She hugged him with so much force he nearly hit to the ground.

"I love you Zetsu!" the girl squealed. "Squee!" she squealed once again. Zetsu felt a bone crack. He tried to move but it was useless.

"5 second rule!" Zetsu said gasping for air. The strange girl looked up at him and she let go.

"Fine. By the way my name is Alicia. I'll be back! Squee!" The girl said and ran off into the woods. Zetsu stayed there until he got feeling back into his arms. After that he ran back to the lair. A few Itachi fangirls were waiting for Itachi but when the saw Zetsu they ran off. After he got inside he told the remaining Akatsuki members about his experience. The Members laughed at him.

"You? A fangirl? Never!" Laughed Itachi while eating his ramen. Tobi looked at him.

"Zetsu-san could have a fangirl." Tobi said reassuringly and stared at Zetsu. "Now?" Zetsu shook his head and Tobi walked off sulking.

"Zetsu could have a fangirl." Sasori agreed.

"Yeah," Deidara agreed. Kisame finished his ramen and looked up.

"I agree with Itachi." Kisame said.

"You're a shark! You have freaking gills and you still have fangirls." Zetsu fumed. Kisame rolled his eyes.

"Gils are sexier than a Venus flytrap could hope to be." Kisame said. Zetsu was ready to lunge when Itachi said.

"Wait one second. Does Mr. Anti-social want a fangirl?"

"No! I just want you all to stop… or else" Zetsu said. He then had a malicious on. "You know, because of her I never ate my dinner and I'm starting to get hungry." All the members ran off to their rooms.

Now almost every day the fangirl attacked. Zetsu threatened to eat her and she ran off. It was on a daily basis. Zetsu couldn't eat much. Zetsu became hungry. After two weeks of torture Alicia became suspicious. Around the same time as the first encounter at the same place, Zetsu was creeping up behind another son-to-be-dinner. It was a girl no more than sixteen. Zetsu laughed quietly when all silence was broken

"Zetsu!" the voice yelled. The girl turned to find Zetsu and ran off.

"Not again." Zetsu complained. Alicia glomped him that instant.

"I love you Zetsu!' she yelled.

"5 second rule… or else!" He yelled. Instead, she loosened her grip.

"How come you always threaten me but never actually attack?" She asked. Zetsu looked anywhere but in her direction. She smiled. "OMG! You like me you like me!" she sang.

"No I don't!" he said. "I just don't feel like going after a fangirl is all." Alicia paused and stared but started again.

"You like me! You like me!"

"Alright fine. I do okay" Zetsu sad.

"Squee!" she squealed and hugged him. From then on they were together forever.

The End.


	2. Chapter 2

Alright I have been asked by a reviewer to continue this story and as u can see I will… and without further ado...

The Zetsu Fangirl

Part 2! Lightningcrashhits tree and makes it crash into house

Me: sorry!

Well it has been a year since the last incident with Alicia. After a while she stopped surprise glomping him and they became really good friends, well more than friends but I think you get the picture. Alicia now usually visits the base and helps Itachi with his fangirl problem. She calls them and says Itachi is… (Insert random spot). But every now and then Zetsu gets another stalker vibe when he is out and about doing missions. He is kind of afraid actually but he never admits it. Well he was off getting groceries (it was his turn and he never liked to go out to the market) one day and was stuck having to pick up a bottle of purple nail polish for Itachi for one of his errands.

"Why am I always stuck getting his stupid beauty products? Purple too. I think black is better for his skin tone but I am not him. The purple clashes" Zetsu muttered going though the hundreds of bottles of nail polish to find the right shade and brand that he likes. It took a few minutes but he was able to find the bottle he was questing for. "Here we go!" Zetsu said triumphantly. "Lavender # 162 by Maybiline New York" after he finished reading off the brand he had a feeling someone was watching him in his moment of glory. Zetsu shrugged it off and went off to the counter. The clerk rang up the item.

"10.45 please" the clerk said. Zetsu looked at his nametag and it sad **TAD **in big bold words. Zetsu took out his wallet to find he had only 5 dollars left since this was the last errand of the day. He gave the man his credit card (a special Akatsuki visa card) and he walked away after the purchase was finished. As soon as he walked out a strange girl attacked. Well glomping attack. Zetsu wasn't ready as he just screamed in surprise.

Back in the store (yes we are taking a quick break from our beloved Venus flytrap)… they heard a terrible scream that was muffled by the near soundproof walls. One clerk looked over to tad.

"Did you hear something tad?" the clerk asked. Tad shook his head. "Wow I must be hearing things" he said.

Back to our beloved cannibalistic plant… Zetsu screamed in surprise. The girl just sat on top of him and giggled an eerie giggle. Almost like those creepy dolls from horror movies. Zetsu struggled at first but was able to get her off. He looked at her to find her a little older than Alicia with blonde hair with fire red steaks in a green top that read **My Mommy Says I'm Special **across it and a pair of ripped blue jeans. Zetsu was able to get up when she hugged him quickly and she ran off. _What the hell? _He thought and got into a hummer and drove off to the Akatsuki base. After a half hour he finally got home. He found Itachi pacing at the front doors. Zetsu came out with the bags of things he had to pick up. Itachi spotted him and opened the door.

"Did you get it?" He asked.

"Yes Itachi-san" Zetsu answered. The two boys went into the kitchen to drop the stuff off. The other three members and subordinate came in. "Alright play-doh for Dei-san" Zetsu said throwing a toys-r-us bag to Deidara. "Wood-shine for Sasori" he said throwing a Home Depot bag at the puppet master. "Fish food for Kisame's pet piranha Fluffy" he said throwing a pet store bag to Kisame. "Finally hair care products and purple nail polish for Itachi." He said throwing an Ulta and CVS bag to Itachi. He squealed and looked into the CVS bag.

"YES! You even got the right color!" he said running off to try it on. The others left. Zetsu was alone in the kitchen. He turned around to find the girl at the store there staring at him. Zetsu jumped.

"What do you want?" He asked. The girl looked at him for a second and answered

"I want Zetsu-san!" she said and hugged him. Zetsu looked at the girl.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Jaime your biggest fan!" Zetsu yelped out enough for someone to notice. Luckily Alicia just came over to find him.

"Zetsu-san!" she yelled.

"Help-me!" he said gasping for air. This hug was worse than a thousand bear hugs all in one. Alicia attacked the girl and it turned into a gigantic fight that only can imagine (which I will let you imagine.) the fight you are thinking of went on for a few minutes before Alicia gained enough strength to beat the crap out of Jaime and kick her out of the base. The girl ran away but for how long only I know and I am not telling you so there. Alicia clapped her hands together.

"Phew she was tough!" she said out of breath. Zetsu patted her on the shoulder.

"Thanks Alicia" he said. Alicia just nodded. Then Kisame walked in to find a huge ripped up kitchen with stuff everywhere.

"What the hell happened in here?" he asked. Sasori then came in.

"Oh my god." He said surprised. Deidara was next.

"OOH did someone find one of my clay birds to make them go 'sploddy?'" she asked. Itachi was last.

"Guess we are gonna need a new kitchen." He said.

The end!

Hope you all liked part two! R&R!


End file.
